Zebedee Dipstick the new Microsoft CEO and former janitor at the Redmond campus said 'with the new features such as Start button, Control panel and Aero user interface we expect Windows 8 Second Edition to become the world's premier desktop and laptop operating system again.' The present Windows 8 will be renamed Windows 8 PhoTab for touch sensitive phone and tablet devices. Following abysmal sales, the Microsoft Slate devices will be immediately discontinued.
Since Microsoft introduced their Bring Your Own Device (BYOD) policy and the remaining workforce brought Apple iOS and Android-based mobile phones and tablets the writing has been on the wall for any Windows-based personal devices. This follows the market's rejection of Windows 8 on desktop PCs and laptops. Following some initial favourable press and reviews of the year old operating system. Indeed Microsoft is announcing a free upgrade to Second Edition for those devices in a bid to stimulate a return to Microsoft Windows software architecture. Microsoft Office 2013 Second Edition will also see a makeover shortly to be consistent with the operating platform.
Zebedee Dipstick also said that Microsoft is concentrating its development efforts on convergence with Apple and Google's software architecture in the future and considers innovation completely finished for them.
There were no further comments as the Microsoft marketing and press departments no longer exist.
